The Puppy Wizard

Where's he/she gone?

We're all missing him over here in uk.rec.pets.misc very much.

Puppy Wizard PLEASE come back!

TOO funny. What a sad little man.

HOWEDY Tania,

There's some SAD news for you. Better set DHOWEN.

LikeWIZE...

With deepest sympathy and eternal regret:

The Puppy Wizard Killed In Spectacular Information Super Highway Crash / Japanese Driver Busted Leaving Scene CyberMemorial Service At PET LOSS dot CON/ ed williams To Give Eulogy disciple cad Conducting Non Denominational High Mass / Open Casket Viewing

The Puppy Wizard Was Killed Today In Spectacular Information Super Highway Crash / Japanese Driver Busted Leaving Scene CyberMemorial Service At PET LOSS dot CON/ ed williams To Give Eulogy disciple cad Conducting Non Denominational High Mass/Open Casket Viewing Will Be Held At dogplay.CON, Courtesy Of Master Of Deception blankman In CONjunction With sindy Sadist MOOREON Author Of HOWER ViciHOWES FAQ's Pages At k-9 Web

HOWEDY People,

The Puppy Wizard met HIS Maker today in a spectacular high speed internet crash. Traffic congestion and high speed may have been the cause. No other injuries was reported. Mrs. Puppy Wizard is reportedly looking for a good push up the Hershey Highway to continue on HER way, going to field trial events in BlueBalls and Intercoure PA as planned.

'HE would have wanted ME to enjoy the plans WE shared for these blowHOWET weekend events, culminating in dinner and social HOWER at the Holiday Inn in Paradise, PA.'

ISP traffic investigator technicians suspect there may be MOORE to the scene than meets the eye. Hidden files reveal Japanese driver busted leaving the scene may have mob connections. WWW Internet technicians suspect this could have been a WWW dotcom hit.

'Who could have wanted to HURT this kindly, gentle, considerate Soul?' asks Mrs. Puppy Wizard.

Let's take a moment to remember The Puppy Wizard and what HE always stood, and may have died for.

As we all know, Mrs. Puppy Wizard sez The Puppy Wizard WAS always HARD, yet gentle, even tender, kindly, considerate, and WIZE beyond words. HE was always close to his grammar, who'll miss him MOORE than words can describe.

'Greive NOT, for The Puppy Wizard' cries Mrs. Puppy Wizard, 'HE would only want everyWON to be HAPPY, so ENJOY your PAIN,' sez SHE, apparently still lookin for a good push back to her HOWES.

'A memorial trust fund is open, send denominations of fifty dollars or MOORE to ed w of PET LOSS dot CON,' cries eddie through aligator size tears, never wanting to miss an opportunity to profit and share the grief with those of us in PAIN.

professor lyin doc SCRUFF SHAKE dermer of the department of ANAL-ytic behaviorISM at UofWI stared into space with that natural born stupid look again when he heard the sad news, and remembered The Puppy Wizard as though HE was STILL HERE with us. Sez professor lying doc SCRUFF SHAKE dermer: 'HE IS IN HIS element nHOWE, for SHORE. We'll all cherish HIS memory and works.'

'We'll NEVER FORGET HIM' weeps roo (alikat), self appointed behaviorist and moderator of alt.animals.dog. disciple cad offered her spiritual words of comfort, sayin 'HE didn't REALLY exist, anyHOWE.'

marybeth remembers The Puppy Wizard sayin 'what do you mean by EXIST, cad honey?'

sinofabitch eagerly explained to us that The Puppy Wizard never even SAW a dog.

An addled Master Of Deception blankman offered: 'perhaps HE was never in a crash, HE possibly died of Ebola while walkin across the highway lookin for a port-a-potty.'

booby maida could not be reached for comment as he was busy training The President's dog to bite him on the arse and run HOWET into traffic and get run dHOWEn, but his office did say he plans to attend the funeral, if only to witness for hisself, that the The Puppy Wizard is dHOWEn for the C-HOWENT.

mikey d quipped, 'YOU'LL GET USED TO IT, booby.'

lying frosty dahl (as per usual since her last EMBARRASSMENT here) could not be reached for comment. Rumor has it her DDR drove her NUTS.

'Many People Have Problems Getting The Pinch Right, Either They Do Not Pinch Enough, Or They Have A Very Stoic Dog. Some Dogs Will Collapse Into A Heap. About The Ear Pinch: You Must Keep The Pressure Up' sindy 'don't let the dog SCREAM' mooreon, author of HOWER FAQ's pages on k9 web.

You think HURTING a HUNTING DOG to MAKE IT HUNT is NECESSARY???

'Well, Jack Did Hit My Dog. Actually I'd Call It A Sharp Tap Of The Crook To The Nose. I Know Jack Wouldn't HaveDone It If He Thought Solo Couldn't Take It. I Still Crate Him Because Otherwise I Fear He Might Eat My Cat,' melanie.

You think allowing a 'FEAR AGGRESSIVE MAN SHY' dog to be BEATEN by a strange male trainer is INTELLIGENT BEHAVIOR for a DOG LOVER?

'Warning: Sometimes The Corrections Will Seem Quite Harsh And Cause You To Cringe. This Is A Normal Reaction The First Few Times It Happens, But You'll Get Over It.' mike duforth, author: 'Courteous Canine.'

You think HURTIN dogs and CRINGING is COURTEOUS?

'I have heard advice stating that you should pre-load your dog for Bitter Apple for it to work as efficiently as possible.

What does this mean?'

Means the author is a dog abuser of the worst magnitude.

'When you bring home the Bitter Apple for the first time, spray one squirt directly into the dog's mouth and walk away. The dog won't be too thrilled with this but just ignore him and continue your normal behavior.'

I thought that 'YourConcience' and a few other psuedonyms that appear on this newsgroup a little too often...*are* the Puppy Wizard in disguise. I think he is trying to sneak by all the people who have him kill-filed.

Satisfied NHOWE?

You're welcome!

TPW <{) ; ~ ) >

P.S. Hey? Whaddaya think of THIS?:

'Tending To Agree With The Positive Reinforcement Method'?

HOWEDY People,

Hello Tara,

m...

> I tend to agree with the positive reinforcement > method.

Oh, that's nice. I tend to think people who tend to agree with positive reinforcement methods tend to be pulling our chains... That's what I tend to think, based on my experience working with people who tend to agree with positive reinforcement who TEND TO hurt their dogs when their tendencies to use positive methods are outweighed by their tendencies to run out of information or intellect and TEND to get frustrated and TEND NOT to do the things they TEND TO believe are right, when they TEND to be frustrated, or TEND to be at a loss for INTELLECT, and TEND TO resort to violence because they TEND to be shy on BRAINS... I TEND TO view those folks as hypocrites, that's what I TEND to do because I just happen to TEND to be HONEST,

> IMO, shock collars should be used only after normal > obedience training methods have failed.

If your NORMAL obedience training TENDED to properly train dogs, there would be a TENDENCY to have well trained dogs. But that's not the case, becasuse NORMAL obedience training TENDS to provoke, intimidate, and confound your dog and inhibit his ability to think and learn to want to work and think and learn... SEE?

That's what I TEND to think about NORMAL obedience training which TENDS to FAIL because it TENDS to resort to VIOLENCE instead of TENDING TOWARDS THE MOST EFFECTIVE SCIENTIFIC METHODS AVAILABLE.

> It just bothers me to imagine shocking my dog, even > at a very low frequency.

It bothers me less to think of shocking the dog than thinking about what punishment and confrontation can do to a dog's temperament. That's what I tend to think based on my thirty eight years professional experience training dogs.

> I will definitely admit that there are many dogs who > either can't or won't benefit from training without > such things as e-collars.

Is that based on your thirty eight years of experience specializing in temperament and behavior problems and protection training in giant breed dogs? Or is that based on your TENDANCY to believe incompetent dog abusing Thugs who tell you they TEND to get excellent results from HURTING dogs to train them because they TEND NOT TO be intelligent enough to outwit the cunning of the domestic puppy dog???

OR IS IT BASED ON YOUR TENDENCY TO MURDER YOUR OWN DEAD DOG Summer?

> I just hope its a last-resort, not a first.

And I just hope you figure out why your pals here who hurt dogs to train them TEND to claim they have me in their killfiles, because they TEND NOT TO be able to answer my questions in good conscience...That's what they TEND to do around here because our lying dog abusing Thugs TEND to be INCOMPETENT, IMMORAL, UNETHICAL, UNPRINCIPLED, DOG ABUSING COWARDS.

Like yourself.

That's what I tend to think.

Your pal, Jerry 'The PHONY,' Howe. j;~} The Amazing Puppy Wizard. <{) ; ~ ) >

Date: Thu, 07 Oct 2004 17:12:11 GMT Local: Thurs, Oct 7 2004 10:12 am

Subject: 'I'm Shocked That I Shocked' tara o. aka tee, NC Boxer Rescue Abuse

HOWEDY People

Here's WON of HOWER MENTAL CASES hurtin dogs and lying abHOWET it again.

'I'm shocked that I shocked'

> Due to someone reprimanding Jar-Jar & the word > 'rescue' in the post, I decided to read down and see > what he was spewing now. I was able to learn that > besides choking, pinching, crating, abusing and > murdering my dog, I also shocked her. I must be > suffering from amnesia.

> Can someone point me to a post where I said > I shocked my dog, or any dog, or that I even > know *how* to use an e-collar....assuming I had one > which must have been stolen at the same time I lost > my memory.

> One would think Jerry would be happy with the > 'murder' part and all my other training sins but > evidently not. >

I think I counted 11 identities that were suspect; there's probably more. What sort of person has the time to create a million different usenet identities? And to what end?

I understand there is a place to read about dogs that has been cleansed of the wizard and all his disguises.

Has anyone been able to discover who he is and alert the mental health authorities in his community.